Wednesday, 6 May 2009

A Proliferation of Posters

Fly posting is a crime.

Does that mean I can proceed to catch and deal with the bastard who's putting up all sorts of crap posters in our nicks? (in response to a recent post from Inspector Gadget - thanks for the reminder)

Hmm, I guess not.
It's not detectable is it?
Therefore I'd be criticised for wasting police time on it.

So, these posters are up for what fantastic reason? They are there to tell us "HOW TO WASH OUR HANDS" and yes, it's in big bold letters. For crying out loud, I got through the entire selection process to become a police constable because I have good verbal logical reasoning skills, because I can think on my feet, because I have the innate ability to be able to just do my job, and properly (well most of the time), oh yeah, and a few other reasons.... but hey, or BUT No.. I'm not able to clearly think of doing something my mother taught me to do when I was 3.
I have to be TOLD to and TOLD HOW to wash my bloody hands.

Damnit, get a life.

What is the point? (like I said, I've been doing this rather well for the past hundred years or so!)

On top of that, there are also posters telling me about things like colds and flu (and these were up before this pig flu thing), and posters about various other bits of crap.

Oh yeah, so I feel like I'm a child. I have to be TOLD to wash my hands. Sorry, but I was raised well. It is a matter of course for me! I have to be TOLD to use a tissue and bin germs? Bloody hell. This is PROTECTIONISM gone insane. We are adult human beings who do an adult job, who make life and death decisions, treat us like adults!

Bugger it. I think I might go to work tomorrow and have a big stinking shit in the toilet. NOT flush it because there is a sign saying to flush the toilet. In fact I will have to move around a bit to make sure it slides down the bowl leaving nasty marks.
I will then walk out of the bog without washing my hands, because there is a sign that says I should wash my hands.

I'll walk straight along the hall and sneeze in to my hand, wipe it along the wall. Cough on the Chief and then go and piss in a corner behind the water cooler.
Yep, that'll make me feel more like an adult.

After that I'll curl up on a beanbag in the corridor and snarl at anybody who decides to say anything too loudly.

Give me a break. F***ing Nanny State!


  1. Ha! And I thought it was just us part-timers who had to put up with all this patronising guff.

  2. If you don't wipe your arse then you don't have to wash your hands.

  3. Blue Eyes, very good point. But if I don't wipe my arse I can't smear it up the walls ;-)

    Yeah, this total and utter patronisation of everything. We aren't even aloud to think for ourselves anymore.
    I have a theory on this.