Friday, 5 June 2009

Half a pint of snot

A while back (last summer I think) one of my colleagues was really quick off the mark with his CS spray.

Now don't get me wrong, he's certainly done a good job. La'dickhead had reached out of sight for something and put his hand behind his back... he could've had anything.

The only thought running through my head at the time was "am I going to live through this shift".

So I've thought about posting this one and I've decided that to post it directly after my moaning about our stab vests is highly appropriate positioning.

I wasn't directly in the line of fire but as it turned out when I had nimbly moved around and managed to pin La'dickhead on the ground and get some bracelets on him there was only one problem.. As he had been suitably marinaded in CS and he had ended up on the ground with me pretty much on top of him pulling his arms instantly behind his back (a-la-Pat & Carl style) EVERY SINGLE ONE of the CS particles that hadn't affected him decided to fly straight in to my face.

La'dickhead gets dragged outside and sat on the gutter, despite the fact that I'm suffering from the effects of the CS it is plainly clear that he's got it far worse than me, besides, being the abject professional that I am I didn't say a great deal other than "damn, that's not nice". I get my colleague to stand there waving at La'dickheads face to keep the air moving on him.. I walk away about 10 yards and OMG I didn't know that you could blow out a half a pint of snot in ONE GO!

10 minutes later we are on the road on the way to custody with windows down and my sinuses feel GREAT.
Though I don't recommend CS as a sinus decongestant, but it is very good at that.

Oh yeah, you may remember that La'dickhead picked something up.. It was his cigarette. So why did he have to act like an moron and make us both wonder if we were going to die horribly? (Sometimes I wonder why I do this? I love my job but I DON'T want to die for it)


  1. It's okay... I'm sure he had less fun that you did that night.

  2. Sounds crazy down in Southernshire! In the big city most of us go for years at a time without getting sprayed...

  3. We keep a BIG bottle of water in the car at all times for washing off deflected Pepper Spray. They don't like us having to go to hospital mid-shift (even though we do get preferential treatment, ahem...) so they normally ask us to wind in our necks and wait until the shift is over!!

  4. As soon as I got to custody I walked in to the toilets and had a good wash down.. I know that is not highly advisable as it's supposed to reactivate the CS but I have never had a problem with that.. it's just nice to get it off me...

    I did have to laugh when my colleague came back after a short squeal when he had a leak and hadn't washed his hands first!!! HAHAH.. I told him it was a school boy error!